one note: I have the coolest nieces ever.
BUT... they are still kids... 4, 3 and 1. It's amazing how much disgusting stuff I tolerate now than I ever have with other people's children! Snot, chewed food, poop, you name it. As my sister (not the divorcing one) and I were pondering the other day, as her two daughters ate burgers and fries on a big board on my living room floor, we wondered what the world would be like if we acted like these children. Not in a retarded way, but just in this oblivious way that they are, and how they think things are so damn funny. Like tossing mommy's shoe in the toilet. And laughing.
Her youngest, almost 2, is eating more than the 4 year old, but keeps stealing ketchup out of her sister's puddle of ketchup, which is creating a mini-riot. And she thinks it's funny. Meanwhile her older sister is having a fit over ketchup. Young sister's nose is running, through the ketchup on her lips and into her mouth, yet if anyone attempts to wipe this congested mess she shakes her head violently from side to side as if you're trying to force her to eat a brussels sprout. After forcing the issue and wiping her nose and lips, she is genuinely pissed off for having been restrained. We go back to our lunch. Same munchkin decides she needs a napkin, and begins wiping her tongue, which she normally only does if she eats something hot. Needless to say, nothing left of this lunch is hot. :) So we're watching, wondering if we will have to prevent her from eating a napkin, when suddenly she flings a 50ยข-size piece of hamburger bun out of the roof of her mouth and on to our makeshift table. Now, that must've sucked to have had that stuck up there, but as the auntie, I thought I was going to pee myself.
My sister and I began compiling a list of things one could do without thinking twice about it if you were a child. They include:
-Screaming "EYE" as you almost stab your friend in the eye with your finger.
-Lick the frosting off of a cupcake and then leave it sit on a sofa cushion.
-Randomly poke someone in the chest for no reason.
-Drink some soda, let some of it miss your mouth and run down your shirt, and not care.
-Drop your sucker on the carpet, pick it up and keep licking it.
-When tired of the sucker, leave it on the nearest end table and walk away.
-Walk up to someone and sneeze on them, continue walking.
-Lean over onto the person next to you and wipe your nose on them.
-Dig bugger out of nose with finger, then hold someone's hand
-Chew something, then decide you don't want it, and spit it where ever it is convenient.
This last thing I decided to do to my sister this afternoon. A chewed up Skittle. I stuck out my tongue and dropped it onto her pants leg. Before she had time to ask me WTF?, she recalled this lovely conversation and the laughter began. Before we got up for dinner, she proceeded to nearly poke my eye out with her finger saying "EEYYYEEEE". And so it begins. I'll see just how far this is going to go.
