Sister and the Personal Ads
Ok, I'll give this a go. I've had many online journals before, but in no way could they compare to Jess's... But I shall try to find some humor here and there to share, rather than compose long drawn out entries of depression for the joy of others to wallow in with me.
My sister, unfortunately, is going through a divorce. I had hoped that I would be the statistic in the family, but unfortunately it looks like 2/3 of us will be in this boat. I'm very careful what I say, this is not the sis I've been on the greatest of terms with for the last 15 years. BUT, suddenly I am an expert on something: Divorce and Dating. I find this rather humorous, I don't think I was very good at either of them, but it's nice to be appreciated.
She emailed yesterday asking for advice, she's ready to begin the paperwork. Where does she start? I called the woman who so kindly got rid of my ex 8 or 9 years ago and we spoke candidly for about half and hour. I opted to call my sister to tell her the results of this call.
A little background: I have 2 sisters, this one is 5 years younger than I, and the other is 7 years younger. Each of them has two children. The asshole that left my sister when their newborn was 4 weeks old is now living with his parents. They've been married 9 years. I am, of course, unbiased about their situation. :)
So, in discussing these things with my sister she brings up a conversation she had with the other sister. The subject of dating. That she was in Wal-mart the other day and looked around at the men... and all she saw were disgusting fat, bald, hairy, loser-ish men. My other sister reminded her that the sampling at Wal-mart in the middle of the day is NOT exactly a random sampling...
She asked me the sites where I used to meet men before I met Eric, so I gave her some tips. Suddenly she sighed and said "yes, like anyone wants to date a 31 year old woman with two young children who is 20 pounds overweight and is lactating. I paused for a moment, and before I could really think I replied with the candor I normally reserve for people who are nicer to me: "well, some guys probably really get into the lactating thing!".
After the laughter subsided, and I was relieved that she wasn't offended, she proceeded to tell me things I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear. I decided to listen anyway, just for fun. When we all went up to visit my dear Grandmother a few weeks ago she told one of my nieces to never let anyone "swipe her twinkle". We three perverted sisters all discussed this on our drive home and it decided that it just somehow sounded dirty. And so it became dirty... And, yesterday being Valentine's day, yes, Eric swiped my twinkle. :P And before I hung up the phone I bid my sister good evening and a fresh supply of batteries.
My sister, unfortunately, is going through a divorce. I had hoped that I would be the statistic in the family, but unfortunately it looks like 2/3 of us will be in this boat. I'm very careful what I say, this is not the sis I've been on the greatest of terms with for the last 15 years. BUT, suddenly I am an expert on something: Divorce and Dating. I find this rather humorous, I don't think I was very good at either of them, but it's nice to be appreciated.
She emailed yesterday asking for advice, she's ready to begin the paperwork. Where does she start? I called the woman who so kindly got rid of my ex 8 or 9 years ago and we spoke candidly for about half and hour. I opted to call my sister to tell her the results of this call.
A little background: I have 2 sisters, this one is 5 years younger than I, and the other is 7 years younger. Each of them has two children. The asshole that left my sister when their newborn was 4 weeks old is now living with his parents. They've been married 9 years. I am, of course, unbiased about their situation. :)
So, in discussing these things with my sister she brings up a conversation she had with the other sister. The subject of dating. That she was in Wal-mart the other day and looked around at the men... and all she saw were disgusting fat, bald, hairy, loser-ish men. My other sister reminded her that the sampling at Wal-mart in the middle of the day is NOT exactly a random sampling...
She asked me the sites where I used to meet men before I met Eric, so I gave her some tips. Suddenly she sighed and said "yes, like anyone wants to date a 31 year old woman with two young children who is 20 pounds overweight and is lactating. I paused for a moment, and before I could really think I replied with the candor I normally reserve for people who are nicer to me: "well, some guys probably really get into the lactating thing!".
After the laughter subsided, and I was relieved that she wasn't offended, she proceeded to tell me things I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear. I decided to listen anyway, just for fun. When we all went up to visit my dear Grandmother a few weeks ago she told one of my nieces to never let anyone "swipe her twinkle". We three perverted sisters all discussed this on our drive home and it decided that it just somehow sounded dirty. And so it became dirty... And, yesterday being Valentine's day, yes, Eric swiped my twinkle. :P And before I hung up the phone I bid my sister good evening and a fresh supply of batteries.
posted by ginamarina at 6:29 PM
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